As we grow older, our relationships remain one of the most important parts of our lives. The people we have loved for decades, the families we have built, and the friendships we develop later in life all contribute to our sense of belonging, purpose and happiness.
For couples, the question of where to live as care needs change can be especially difficult. One spouse may remain independent while the other begins to require more support. A diagnosis of dementia, a change in mobility or a need for Long-Term Care can suddenly make the question of how to stay together feel much more complicated.
At Schlegel Villages, we believe that relationships should remain at the heart of seniors living, regardless of where or how someone receives care.
Keeping Couples Together
In Ontario's Long-Term Care system, keeping spouses together is a priority. When one spouse requires Long-Term Care, efforts can be made to reunite couples in the same home when appropriate placement becomes available.
For James and Anne Gordon, that meant being reunited after nearly seven decades of marriage. When Anne moved into Long-Term Care in The Village of Riverside Glen because of her changing needs and James later required care because of declining mobility, it was important that he be placed alongside his wife.
Today, they live across the hall from one another, a fitting echo of the neighbouring hotel rooms where they first met in Durban, South Africa nearly 70 years earlier.
Their story is a reminder that even when care needs change, the relationship between two people should remain central to the conversation.
When Couples Need Different Levels of Care
Sometimes the needs of two spouses are very different.
One person may need Long-Term Care while their partner remains independent. That doesn't necessarily mean they have to live miles apart or give up the community and routines they have built together.
In a Village where retirement living and Long-Term Care exist alongside one another, couples can sometimes live in different neighbourhoods while remaining just steps away from each other.
Frank and Pat Kindree experienced exactly this. When Pat moved into Long-Term Care at the Village of Wentworth Heights, Frank was able to move into a retirement apartment just down Main Street. After spending months travelling to the hospital to see his wife, Frank now walks just 232 paces from his apartment to visit her.
Every morning, he makes the walk to see Pat, and together they spend time exploring their Village, visiting the café and enjoying the community around them.
It is a simple idea, but a powerful one: sometimes staying together doesn't mean living in the same room. It means being close enough to share your days.
Finding Connection Later in Life
Relationships in seniors living aren't limited to couples who have spent a lifetime together.
New friendships and relationships can also emerge from the communities people build later in life.
Don and Esme both moved into retirement living after losing their spouses following decades-long marriages. Neither was looking for another relationship. Yet, through everyday Village life of playing cards, travelling, sharing stories and simply getting to know one another, they discovered an unexpected connection.
Their relationship grew from a shared understanding of loss and the experience of starting a new chapter. Today, they continue to maintain their own apartments while enjoying companionship, laughter, travel and the simple pleasure of having someone who understands.
Their story reminds us that moving into a seniors community doesn't mean closing the door on the relationships that have shaped our lives. Sometimes, it opens the door to new ones.
Relationships Are Part of Care
Seniors living should never be viewed simply as a question of accommodation or care level.
It is about people, and people don't stop needing love, companionship, friendship and connection because their physical or cognitive needs change.
For couples, that may mean finding a way to remain together in Long-Term Care. It may mean living in different neighbourhoods within the same Village while remaining close enough to see each other every day. And for someone who has experienced loss, it may mean discovering a new friendship or relationship that brings unexpected joy.
The goal is to create communities where relationships can continue, evolve and flourish at every stage of life.
Because no matter what level of care someone needs, the people they love should always have a place in their life.
