Sybil Pugh is sitting amid the bustling Whitby Farmer’s Market upon a green bench that has become synonymous with the #ElderWisdom movement. She’s speaking with a boy of maybe 12 – one of a large number of school-aged children who came across the green bench this bright Wednesday morning – and he opens up to her.
He speaks of his ambitions to find a path through the arts into his future, and also his anxieties about the worthiness of such a goal.
“Such worries for being just a boy,” Sybil says, recounting the conversation afterwards. She offered words of encouragement and perhaps a sense of permission from the perspective of someone who has lived a long life; someone who followed her own ambitions from the rural farmlands of North Wales to Canada and eventually to the bench on this bright June day.
That such depth could come through in such a short time may seem surprising, but then the #ElderWisdom movement is all about conversation and connection. It bridges generations by inviting people to recognize that the oldest neighbours in our communities carry within them tales of perseverance and practical advice gleaned from lives of trial, tribulation and triumph.
Between Sybil and her neighbour from The Village of Taunton Mills, Wilf Bradnock, dozens of short conversations and some long ones take place over the course of three hours while market-goers pass by on their way to stalls filled with local honey, produce, baked goods and hot sauce.
Students on placement in the Dundas St. library where the market is held every Wednesday take their seat upon the bench, while other older adults come by just to chat.
A retired photojournalist named AJ takes in the scene and considers the value in the #ElderWisdom movement.
“This connects the older with the younger, and that is an answer that we need to follow,” AJ says. “We need that communication to bring the two together.”
Evelyn Dithurbide was among four residents from The Village of Erin Meadows to kick off a month of #ElderWisdom when they brought the green benches to visit their neighbours at John Fraser Secondary School in Mississauga, the day before the Whitby event.
Students from Grades 10, 11 and 12 were fascinated by the stories of Evelyn’s youth in rural Cape Breton, and she was encouraged by their energy and their plans for the future.
“A couple of them, they’re real students,” she recalls, mentioning one who has ambitions to study in the medical field. “They have a purpose and they have such energy.”
Questions of love and dating came up as well, and Evelyn mentions a conversation with a young lady in Grade 11.
“She was a little bit quiet and she said, ‘I have something different to talk to you about,’ ” Evelyn says. “ ‘How was it when you were growing up; how was dating?’ ”
Evelyn’s response was tactful. She told the young lady it must still be the same, as it boils down to two people coming together, and seeing if they can get along and if so, letting things slowly evolve from there.
“That’s how it was when I was 16 . . . but I didn’t know how far to go with that conversation,” Evelyn says with a chuckle.
Throughout the month of June in cities across Ontario, the Green Bench will feature prominently in public spaces and the simple message will continue to spread, reminding us all to slow down and take a moment to learn about the older people in our lives.
