Evelyn and David Ball met at a ski club in Hamilton, and ever since, spending time together sliding through a snowy winter day, two best friends and, eventually, husband and wife, was always something they were passionate about.
They spent practically all their spare time together over the years, active and eager to take on new physical challenges, and they made a point of always making time for regular date nights. Even after David was diagnosed with dementia and Evelyn put her decades of experience as a registered nurse into caring for her best friend’s needs, she made sure that date nights remained part of their routine.
“I always tried to make Dave feel loved and special,” Evelyn says. In the early days after his diagnosis, they made a point of spending time with friends, “but it’s a really lonely disease,” she says, and soon their friends were less and less available, perhaps uneasy about a disease they feared and knew little about.
Still, Evelyn persevered for nearly a decade; most days were spent at home, yet a few hours spent bowling or at a new restaurant or café helped break up the time and remind them of their connections over their years together.
Eventually, however, Evelyn realized she could no longer be there for Dave 24 hours a day without risking her own health, and he was placed on a crisis list for long-term care. When a bed became available in The Village at University Gates’ Hagy neighbourhood, which specializes in dementia support, Evelyn knew they had no choice.
This was in March of 2023, and the decision weighed heavy upon Evelyn’s heart.
“What have I done to my best friend?” she remembers asking herself on the nights after she would visit and tears would flow. In time, though, she came to realize that Dave was well cared for and in order for her to be strong for him, she needed to be strong herself. She took up golf and began to spend time caring for her own needs, and she grew more comfortable with the path Dave was on and the support they found at University Gates.
She also soon found they could once again enjoy date nights together without ever leaving the Village, for University Gates is home to The Ruby, a unique restaurant-like space upon the 10th Floor overlooking the beautiful lands around The Village. After a COVID-induced shut down, the Ruby opened again in early 2024, and Evelyn could once again take Dave out and share a special experience with him.
“Whenever I take him to the Ruby, he eats everything,” Evelyn says. “He just loves it up there, and I know he does because I can tell by the way he opens his mouth when I give him a bite.”
He still loves to sip on a cold beer, she adds. He may not be able to verbalize it, but she can tell from his reaction when he takes a sip and she asks him how it is.
Dave and Evelyn’s journey is unique to them, filled with amazing memories of time spent together and love that remains as strong as ever, but certainly the difficulties of health challenges in the face of passing time can weigh heavy.
Yet meaningful experiences are there for the taking, and the Balls take advantage as they can.
“I really enjoy being able to go up to The Ruby,” Evelyn says. “It really is something special.”
